a rapid succession of blistering skin. stinging.
and so fall and dissipate charred embers like scratches on a movie reel.
and i failed
the cool hand drops its bounty
picks it up and calmly replaces its desire.
ponders for a moment.
sees a page
in its mind
and i read it, and he comprehends
what it means, and what never happens.
a blank scene inserted here for effect
i cough, because i smoke too much, because i stress too much, because i think too much, and escape too fucking much.
think back to a man, a teacher
whose lessons i never quite bought.
think back to a girl i loved
who destroyed me much more than i destroyed you.
who has time to smile anymore?
to sink your delicate teeth in.
scratch with glass on separating cells
and you will find no resistance.
only giving, uncomprehending
and every time feeling a little less
not functional enough tonight to weild such great sorrow
and so i try to care more than passively
and shrug when i fail.
...So just let me go
because i gave up on you a long time ago.
and i fall
how it always is
and always will be.
not sure what you expected.
surprised when i get what i expected.
because it's getting tiring being right all the time.
and hearing the same fucking thing
over and over.
i sing my farewell to a deaf crowd and leap into the melee
i hold no interest in any of it now.
held none before, but for the flame consuming down to the expectant fingers
and once it's burned and extinguished
you begin to think it's you that's been written about
and thrown from
but save self-flattery for other days.
because what is intended for some is not for others
and life is but a dangerous dream.
embellishing bloodflow with embolism;
a dirty clot
you've lost that man.
and this one
and there's no way to find your way back to him.
--so go get your knife and come in
--so go get your knife and lay down
--so go get your knife now kiss me