wake up, concerned over a missed message and unanswered call.
drive to work.
smoking, 30 minutes in and find my stereo's been ripped.
find who did it and confront him.
start seeing red, feeling dangerous things and walk away to find security
saving the man from waking in the hospital and myself from jail and being fired.
call the police
stop and see a friend who only cares to see me for the 'gift' i bring him.
stop and see another friend who can't seem to find happiness lately. it saddens me.
leave for home...i want nothing more than to hit my bed and curl up under the sheets.
but i hit a two hour traffic jam on the freeway.
with no music all i'm left with is my head.
and i slowly drive.
home, invited to a gathering of friends. can't handle the thought of people and duck out.
invited to a show with someone i haven't seen or talked to in a while.
can't go...people, life...
decide to try the safe haven of my coffee shop but as soon as i open the door i realize i've made a mistake.
order my coffee and leave quickly.
home....forcing myself to write...
nothing works, nothing computes
all is merely mush on the slide down.
escape to read more genet. more depressing french craziness
on edge simmering in the lights flicker
alone with the bitter taste of coffee, nicotine, and defeat on my lips
and the sound of the deftones hissing through the diminishing canals.
--i am the nexus one
--i want more life
--fucker i ain't done - yeah